Buyer Resource Center › The Home Buying Process › The Potential Pitfalls of Homebuyer Love Letters
When you find the home you love, it's natural to want to tell the seller why. For years, buyers wrote personal letters to help their offer stand out. Today, many agents and sellers in Oregon and Washington avoid them, because a heartfelt letter can create fair housing problems and may not help you anyway. Here's what to know, and what works better.
5 Things to Know Before You Write One
Why Love Letters Can Be Risky
Fair housing laws prohibit sellers from choosing a buyer based on protected characteristics like race, religion, national origin, familial status, or disability. A letter with family photos or personal details can reveal those things, and if a seller's choice looks influenced by them, it can raise fair housing concerns for everyone involved.
Oregon Tried to Ban Them
In 2021, Oregon passed a law requiring listing agents to reject buyer love letters. A federal appeals court later struck the law down on free speech grounds, so letters aren't illegal. Still, many listing agents and brokerages have policies against passing them along to sellers.
What Sellers Really Care About
Most sellers choose an offer based on price, financing strength, terms, and how likely it is to close on time. A great letter rarely overcomes a weaker offer, and a strong offer doesn't need one.
Better Ways to Stand Out
Offer a closing date that works for the seller, be flexible on possession or a rent back, keep your inspection period tight, and include a strong pre-approval letter. In a competitive situation, an escalation clause can also help.
If You Still Want to Write One
Keep it short and about the home itself, like the garden, the kitchen, or the neighborhood. Leave out photos and personal details about your family, background, or beliefs, and let your agent review it first.
The bottom line: A love letter feels personal, but it can create risks without improving your chances. The best way to win a home is a clean, strong offer and an agent who knows how to present it. Let's focus our energy there.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are homebuyer love letters illegal in Oregon?
No. Oregon passed a law in 2021 that would have banned them, but a federal appeals court struck it down on free speech grounds. Many listing agents still decline to pass letters to sellers because of fair housing concerns.
Why are love letters a fair housing concern?
They can reveal protected characteristics like race, religion, familial status, or disability. If a seller's decision appears to be influenced by those details, it could raise fair housing issues.
Should I mention that I'm a veteran in a letter to the seller?
It's best not to. In Washington, veteran and military status is a protected class under state law, and your offer should win on its strength, not on personal details. A strong VA offer speaks for itself.
Do love letters actually help buyers win?
Rarely on their own. Sellers usually choose based on price, financing, terms, and certainty of closing. A letter won't make up for a weaker offer.
What can I do instead of writing a letter?
Offer flexible timing, a strong pre-approval, a tight inspection period, and, when appropriate, an escalation clause. Your agent can also call the listing agent to explain the strength of your offer.
Can a seller reject my offer because I'm using a VA loan?
Sellers can choose among offers based on price and terms, but a well prepared VA offer competes well. Many concerns about VA loans are outdated, and a good agent can address them directly with the listing agent.
Keep Reading
Winning in a Competitive Market: Low Inventory and Multiple Offers
How to compete when homes are scarce, without overpaying or waiving key protections.
Read more ›Fair Housing and Your Home Search
Your rights as a buyer and how fair housing law protects you.
Read more ›The Real Estate Negotiating Process
Offers, counteroffers, and how a deal comes together.
Read more ›
Meet Your Veteran Realtor
Troy Doty, Principal Broker
Troy Doty is a Principal Broker with Northwest Realty Source in Portland, with 25 years in real estate and over 1,000 homes sold across the Portland metro and SW Washington. As a Marine Corps veteran, Troy has a true passion for helping Portland veterans and active duty military families buy and sell homes, whether you're PCSing in, transitioning out, buying your first home, investing in a duplex, triplex, or fourplex, or right sizing later in life.
Schedule a Call or Video Meeting ➜ More About Troy ➜ Free Veteran Buyer E-BookPrefer to call or email? 503.997.4169 · troy@nwrealtysource.com
Troy Doty, Principal Broker, Northwest Realty Source. Licensed in Oregon and Washington. ABR®, MRP, and SRES® are credentials of the National Association of REALTORS® and its affiliates. CIAS™ is a designation of U.S. Realty Training. Content adapted in part from ABR® consumer resources. This page is general information, not legal, tax, or lending advice.
